My nipple is on Facebook.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
