theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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