he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
