remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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