I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Man, jail baloney is awful.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
