Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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