At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
