why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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