i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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