PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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