Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
