so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
