Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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