I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
