drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
