i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
