In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
