The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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