So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
