It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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