Sry I called you an 8
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
