My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
