some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
