I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
