How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize