and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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