Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
