Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize