My nipple is on Facebook.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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