The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
