He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He passed out mid-signature
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
