She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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