Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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