i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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