He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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