Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
