with your own penis?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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