she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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