when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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