OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
