even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
