he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
