Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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