Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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