I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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