i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
