Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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