ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize