Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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