watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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