I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Your cock deserves a montage
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
