You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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