Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
