Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize