I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
