I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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