Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
