i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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