She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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