im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
