it was like his penis was on wheels.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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