Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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