Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
