Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
