is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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