he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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