The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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