Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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