let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
