Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I would ride that face into the sunset
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
